Stand up. Speak out. Fight Back.

I know I have flooded your newsfeed with many articles and links about Common Core and Standardized Testing. I'm sure I have worn out my welcome with many of you. However, I must say that this is an issue that I feel very passionate about. I entered teaching in my mid-late 20's after working in a few other professions (retail, volunteer coordinator, restaurant, etc). I was passionate about my "calling" as I felt that I was meant to be a teacher. My first years were spent in Second Grade and then I was placed in a First Grade. I have made First Grade my home since 1996. In the nearly 18 years that I have taught First grade, I have seen many changes. Early on, we taught Whole Language, then came a more balanced thematic approach. My students and I explored learning through themes, hands-on activities, and play balanced with developmentally appropriate school assignments and a lot of joy. Then came NCLB. That seemed more targeted to 4th-8th grade and still we enjoyed learning and creating in a developmentally appropriate way. We used reams of construction paper, gallons of paint and glue, glitter, paper with red & blue lines so we knew where to write, sentence strips, big books, and free play. NCLB demanded "disaggregation" of scores and we had literacy blocks and math blocks and writing workshops. And yet, we played on and learned and laughed and smiled. First grade was fun and I loved everyday of my job. Next came Race to the Top... also known as NCLB on steroids. And curriculum became more and more demanding. Free play was now only 3 days a week, student behaviors became more challenging as developmentally inappropriate demands and expectations were placed on my students by people who had no business writing curriculum, standards and policies. Now, we have APPR, which ties students scores to teacher evaluations, developmentally inappropriate curriculum and expectations, multi-lingual classrooms, high poverty rates and stressed out kids and teachers. I no longer go through reams of construction paper as there is no time for crafts. I haven't bought glitter in 2 years, nor glitter glue. My first graders are expected to write essays that support their opinions (without handwriting instruction -- no time for that), create research projects and work out complicated word problems. I spend hours searching the internet for activities that align to common core that will bridge the gap between the outrageous garbage that is EngageNY and CC and what I know works with kids. Free play is once a week on a Friday afternoon. Everyday, we try to find moments of joy (cosmic yoga, 30 second dance parties, funny stories in place of non-fiction text...shhhh... don't tell). And what is the point of this rant, you ask? The point is that our Federal Gov't and State Gov't and Big Corporations (Pearson, Microsoft, Wal-mart, et al) are systematically destroying public education. And we are letting them. By being silent, we are being complacent. By not fighting back, we are allowing them to dismantle one of the best things about our country... Public education for all children. We are allowing them to destroy childhood by not valuing developmentally appropriate instruction and expectations. So even if you don't have children in school, please take the time to read and to become aware of what is happening in our country. It is not on the news. The propaganda is strong, so don't be swayed. STAND UP. SPEAK OUT. FIGHT BACK. For our children and our childrens' children. Thank you.

#evaluate that

From the Week of April 1st:

This week marks the end of the NYS ELA testing and because of the controversy surrounding it; these tests have made the local and national media. This year, many students and parents have refused the test. They are making a statement. They are trying to take back education. Their education. 

I have been teaching for 20 years. Over the course of those years, I have seen many changes, some good, and some bad. I remember saying to my (now) husband, six years ago…. “It’s April, I feel like I have a target on my back”. You see, it is testing time and it is budget time. It is when people pay their taxes and then go vote on the school budget in May. Usually, this season lasted for about two weeks of May. Then it became late April and May. Now it is all year long. I feel like I have a target painted on my back as a teacher. I’m sure you have read and heard all the rhetoric: schools are failing, teachers are failing, US students are not performing as well as the rest of the world. Unions and tenure and pensions are the root of the economic recession and the downturn in the economy (certainly not the banks and mortgages) and on and on and on. Teachers are an easy scapegoat. As a group, we are nice people. We work with children. We are accommodating and flexible. We know that things come and go and we can ride the tide.

Everyone thinks they know what teachers do. After all, we all went to school. We had lots of teachers and we know what it is like to be in a classroom. Trust me, if you don’t teach, you have no idea what it is really like. If you did, you would vote yes on every school budget and you would be outraged about what is happening in education today.

This morning, I went to school. Notice I say “I went to school”, not “I went to work”. I rarely say, “I went/go to work”. I go to school. I go to school because I am a learner. I learn something new every day. I go to school, where I am a teacher, a learner, a helper, a coach, a guide, a supporter, a role model, a symbol of security and yes, a mother. I help my children to learn. And yes, they are my children. I never say, “They are my students”. They are my children. From the moment they enter my classroom, they are my children… even when they come back 20 years later. They are my kids. I help them, love them, guide them, coach them, cheer them, encourage them, and correct them. They are my children.

Today, in our classroom, we learned about the importance of water on our planet, we learned how to access information online (Thanks Jill!), we learned about fractions and symmetry, we learned about being kind to each other, we learned to accept differences and we learned about being 6. Today, we read, we wrote, we danced and we played. We learned. Today, 16 of 18 students that came to school today, chose “Lunch Bunch” (Lunch with me) over any other prize on the cart or in the room. Today, we put on Pharell Williams and danced for 4 and half minutes straight to “Happy” just because we are kids. Today we had “free time” During that time, 2 of my boys wrote a story because “We are GREAT writers”, my ELL student practiced telling time, my speech student practiced her sounds with my phonics cards and other students either “played school” or read to each other. Today we were a family.

My children are more than a score. They are more than a number on a test. They are more than what a test can evaluate. Honestly, I could care less if they can “close read” or “use multiple strategies to add or subtract”. I am growing people here. What teachers do is so complex; it cannot be quantified into a number. Neither can people, especially children.

At the end of every day, I take my “walkers” to their parents and then walk back down the hall to my bus line. I am always in awe of the amount of children coming down the hall. There are literally hundreds of them. Usually there are less than 50 adults to monitor what is happening. Children are laughing and happy. Parents have entrusted their children to us. It is awe-inspiring. THEY ENTRUSTED THEIR BABIES TO US. And those babies are growing. They may not be growing as fast or in the way NYS would like them to, but they ARE GROWING. It is amazing. We are growing people. Not numbers. Not test scores. Not data points. If that is not humbling, then I don’t know what is.

Fighting for Finn

Saturday morning I had the privilege of spending time with my three-year-old nephew, Finn.  Finn and I headed off to the “train store” which is really our local Barnes & Noble. For a good hour I watched him play with the trains, play with the Legos, listen to a story and look at books. He's a really independent little guy. He has an unbelievable spirit. He talks to everyone and he is quick to introduce himself. He kept up a running chatter the entire time were together, narrating and commenting on everything around us.

As I sat and watched him, I thought about all the things are going on today in education and how sometimes I am so upset I feel like I'm screaming inside my head. I thought about how I'm so angry at what's happening. I thought about why.  And I thought about my own kids. I thought about what is happening to them in this age of “reformy” education.

My son is almost17. He will be out of high school in a year and for the most part, he will have escaped Common Core. He will get out just in time, although he is not unscathed. For you see he grew up during NCLB, which means that over the years the curriculum has become narrower and narrower due to the regulations, initiatives and budget cuts. Throughout his entire educational experience, the focus has been on ELA and Math and, as a result, he doesn't really see much beyond that. We talk about college but he doesn't see there is nobility and success in learning a trade.  In reality, he has not been exposed to anything other than reading and writing and math. Sure, there's some history and science in there but everything involves reading and writing. Even his gym class and his art classes have involved reading and writing. And while that's not a bad thing, in some ways it hasn't been a good thing either.

My daughter is 13. Because I am so enraged what is happening in education, my response has been to remove her from public school and register her for private school in the Fall. I am hoping the private school experience will help mitigate some of the effects of common core.  There's nothing like a group of nuns to ensure excellence in education I guess. At least I hope so. However, her educational experience is even narrower than her brother’s as she is just that much younger. With the focus so heavily on non-fiction and on “rigor”, there is less opportunity for her to be as creative as she is naturally.  You see, my daughter is a poet, she's an artist and she expresses herself in ways that do not play well on standardized tests or really any tests for that matter. My daughter has a different way of looking at the world.  She is not a kid who performs well on tests although she is super smart and gets good grades. She works hard and I hate to see what common core is doing to her.  It's going to suck the love of learning out of her and that is so sad.

So, back to this morning, sitting and playing trains with my nephew. Finn personalizes this fight for better education for me. Because he is three, if Common Core is allowed to continue he will be the one who is most affected by it. He makes this personal for me. Finn has a spirit like no other kid I've seen and common core will make his educational experience at best, boring for him. At worst, it will make it painful. Finn is not the kind of child who will be able to deal with the rigor of Common Core (read: sit silently and do worksheets). Finn is a boy. He's ALL boy. Finn experiences the world physically.  He likes to dance his way through his day. Finn will not do well with common core. It will take his learning down to such a narrow scope that it saddens me. It is for Finn that I fight. It is for Finn that I want to see education be developmentally appropriate and creative and diverse. It is for Finn, that I don’t want education to be common.  It is for Finn that I want to see the world be a better place. Because no one should have creativity stifled or their spirit quelled. No one should have to do an art project and then write an essay about it.  No child should have to read an essay with no background knowledge and then try to figure it out what it means. No eight-year-old should have to sit for 90 minutes at a time doing a test that means nothing to him or her. No six-year-old should have to practice filling in bubbles. No 13-year-old should have to read the same literature passage over and over and over again line-by-line for no reason. That's not reading. That's not writing. That's not learning. I'm sure that everyone has a little Finn in their life or at least I hope they do. And for that reason alone everyone should get educated about what's going on, get informed and start fighting back. Americans are complacent in a lot of ways. We have short attention spans and the news cycle is very short. We believe a lot of what we read and a lot of what we see. And we don't stand up, at least not for long. But we can't afford to be complacent here, as the so-called “reformers” are counting on that. They are counting on the fact that we will get bored or that we won't inform ourselves and we won't keep up the fight long enough. They think we are going to get bored and go away. Guess what?  I'm not going away, I'm not going to stop fighting. I'm not going to back down. I’m staying strong.  For Finn.

Countdown to Summer

We are on the countdown... the countdown to Summer Vacation.  I am never sure if I should be excited or terrified.  I am in need of a break, so I am excited at the prospect of sleeping past 5:30 a.m., having time to plan and cook nutritious meals, attend yoga classes, organize my life and generally feel like a less-stressed out human.  On the other hand, I am facing long days with children who seem to have no purpose in life other than watch TV, eat and sleep for hours on end.  I have a funny feeling that by next week, I will be wishing for school to start up... at least for them!

Hot Button Issue

I have a need to get up on my soap box and write about a pet peeve of mine.  It is the "Parenting" vs. "Raising Children" issue.  I believe that the concept of "parenting" is one that has been created by my generation.  Believe me, my parents did not "parent".  Nor did their friends.  They raised their children and lived their own adult lives.

The term "parenting" is parent-centered.  It focuses on the parent and what the parent is doing.  "Raising Children" focuses on children and how they are going to become productive adults and citizens.  My parents raised two daughters.  They led by example.  They guided and taught.  They also maintained their own adult lives and relationships and did grown-up things:  dinners out with friends, work functions, volunteer responsibilities, etc.  They hired babysitters when they needed or wanted to go out.  They did not attend any of my practices and few, if any of my games or activities.  Nor my sister's.  Not because they didn't love us or support our interests, but because they knew and understood that the interests belonged to my sister and I and not them.  They did not fight my battles with friends or teachers, rather they advised me on how to handle issues and conflicts.  They were strong role models.  They encouraged me to get jobs, work on school breaks and to go to college. The road was rough at times.  And fraught with potholes.  But they focused on the goal of making my sister and I independent, productive adults.

Today's parents are different.  They talk about "Parenting".  It has become a verb.  They focus on what they are doing for their children.  They are parenting.  They focus so exclusively on their children and their children's wants and needs that they have no lives outside their own kids/nuclear family.  I hear so many friends talk about how they spend their weekends and evenings going to soccer/ football/ swimming/ hockey/ dancing practice /games/tournaments/recitals. They don't go out with their spouses or friends to dinner, movies, for drinks, parties, etc.  Their acquaintances are their children's teammates or childrens' friends' parents.  Their social life is centered on hanging out at their kids' practices and even attending games that their child refs or umps.  REALLY?  You watch them do their job?  Kinda like watching your kid gather carts at Wegmans, don't you think?  They do so many things for their children, that their kids are not independent and can barely function on their own.  They fight their kids' battles by calling other kids and their parents, writing notes to teachers about mundane things like who is friends with who and "why didn't my child get chosen to pass out napkins for snack?", calling school to ask what is for lunch.  They fund so many sports and activities, wants and  "needs" (what kid needs a media-capable cell phone?) that they can't afford dinner, babysitters, weekends away, or even essentials.  And trust me, very few of these kids are going to get scholarship money and even fewer are going to become wealthy professional athletes or Olympians.  They try to be their kids' friends and to be friends with their kids' friends.  They are not good role models of what adults are supposed to be and do not show their kids how to have adult relationships.

I feel like the black sheep of my group of peers.  I don't hang out and watch my childrens' sports practices.  I pick up and drop off.  I try to encourage the kids to carpool and to make the arrangements themselves.  I don't go to all the games.  Some, but not all.  Watching children run around the soccer field or play machine pitch baseball (7 balls before a strike out) is not that enthralling. (Admit it, you secretly agree with me).  For the most part, all this stuff (in my opinion) is well organized and supervised play dates.  I certainly don't sit through a little league baseball game that my kid is umpiring.  He is working.  It's his JOB.  I'm not about to watch him bag groceries or wash cars.  I don't fight my kids battles.  I talk to them about how they may chose to deal with an issue with a friend or a teacher, but I rarely step in.  They need to own the problem(s) and solve them.  Because of all this, I am not a part of the "in-crowd".  You know them, the moms who hang out at soccer, at PTA, at the baseball field.  The fathers who you wonder how they have all this time to spend on the field or the sidelines..  Adults who wear their children's school/team colors and logos. (How long ago did YOU graduate from High School?)  I feel like an outcast.  But trust me, I am OK with this.  I also (gasp) hire babysitters who (gasp) are not family.  I go out with friends, on dates, and on my own.  I go away for weekends when I have an opportunity.  My children are limited to one sport a season.  Discussions are had about limits and what we can and cannot afford to do/have.  I let my children know I love them, but I also have a life. They are important and so am I.

I believe in raising my children to be productive, independent citizens.  I want them to go forth and be happy.  I want them to understand that happiness comes from confidence which comes from independence and experience.  I also plan on having a life once they are on their own being grown-ups.  I hope I do not sound selfish.  Some people may think that I am.  Personally, I think THEY are.  They are holding their children so close and centering their lives so much on their children that they are deriving their own identity from them.  In short, they are living vicariously through their kids.  What pressure that must put on their offspring.

I fear what my peers, my generation and those under us are creating.  I worry that we are creating a generation of people who are so used to being the center of things that they will not be able to function in a group setting such as a work environment, a part of a couple, a part of a team.  That they will not be able to solve problems.  That they will not be able to handle disappointment.  In short, that they will be immature, spoiled brats.  Scary thought.

Ok, time to put my soap box back under the bed.  And maybe even hide under it for a while.

Counting Blessings

I haven't blogged in over a month.  Although I have to admit that I did do a little writing.  I wrote poems for my class and poems in my head.  One rainy weekend, I obsessively wrote haikus for no apparent reason.  While driving. At one point I had to pull into a parking lot to write down my 17 syllable thoughts on the rain.  Weird, but true.  So, after admitting to a friend that I started a blog I thought it might be a good idea to get back to blogging. First, I read my (few/limited) posts.  I realized that they are very personal.  They reveal more about me than most people, even close friends know.  I also realized that they are a bit depressing.  I guess this winter was more challenging than I realized at the time.  Thank God it is Spring, well, at least by the calendar it is even if the weather is not cooperating.

I have decided to take up blogging again.  I find writing to be cathartic.  However, I think I need to be more positive.  I am generally a positive person.  Except when I'm not.  But after a long winter, I think I need to count my blessings and focus on the positive.

So here goes, in no particular order....

Blessing #1: Carl.  Hands down, the kindest, nicest, most amazing man I have ever known.  He is generous, funny, smart and all around wonderful.  He is also stubborn, Italian (Sicilian) to a fault, and has more projects going than I could begin to keep track of.  He has brought me more happiness than I thought I could experience.  He has encouraged me and supported me through good and not-so-good times.  He constantly refers to "us" and tells me "we make a good team."  He makes me smile.

Blessing #2:  My sister.  My sister is my best friend.  She knows me like no other person ever has or ever will.  She is funny and smart.  She is an amazing mom.  My kids adore her.  I am so blessed to have her here in town, just around the corner.  Even if she wasn't my sister, she'd still be my best friend.

Blessing #3:  My friends.  There is nothing like girlfriends.  They are an amazing collection of women.  Many are fellow teachers but some are not.  We get each other.  We help each other.  We hold each other up.  I, personally, will never forget how they held me up when I needed it.  I credit them for getting me through the toughest times of my adult life.

Blessing #4:  My kids.  Even though these tween and teen years are proving to be challenging, I am blessed with 2 healthy, smart kids.  They are slowly maturing and growing before my eyes and I cannot imagine my life without them.

Blessing #5:  My job/career/chosen profession/calling in life.  Teaching has brought me many joys and frustrations.  But most of all, it has brought me the ability to be me and to get paid for it!  It has given me the ability to support my children, be available to my kids, and to be creative.  I can't imagine not having been a teacher.

Blessing #6:  My faith.  It may not be perfect, but it is mine.  I find that it gives me peace.  It helped (and helps) to lay my worries at God's feet once a week.  Sometimes, the power of prayer scares me.  Cause it works!  I remember my son asking me one day if God really answers your prayers.  I told him yes but not always in the time frame you want or the way that you want Him to.  I know this because it has happened to me.  It has given me pause.  I don't necessarily always agree with the doctorines of my chosen religion, but I do believe in the power of a higher being, the serenity that faith can give, and the need to give my children a basis in faith.

So, how's that for positive?  I hope it is more uplifting than my last post.  I guess I must have been having a bad day.  Amazing what a little sunshine, some green grass, longer daylight hours and a little perspective can do for a girl.  :)

Snow Day

Today was our first snow day of the year.  It is what every student and every teacher who lives in a northern climate dreams of.  An unexpected day off.  The gift of time.  No agenda, no responsibilities.  Be careful what you wish for!  Today's snow day was lackluster.  First there was all the hype about the storm that was coming.  (Beware of the hype... nothing ever lives up to the hype).  Plus, there was the anticipated closings.  We knew at 2:00 that there would be no school the next day.  The whole thing was so planned, so contrived and so disappointing.  Where was the anticipation, the wonder, the surprise, the joy of a snow day?  Because we knew we would have the next day off, it stopped being a day off.  It became a day on, complete with lists of chores for the next morning.  We knew we could sleep in so we turned off the alarm clocks, instead of turning on the news at 6:00 a.m. and waiting in child-like anticipation for our district's name to be scrolled across the bottom of the tv screen.  And then the storm never materialized.  Gone was that feeling of being snowed in.  Gone was the gift of time.  Gone was the feeling like we had a whole unscheduled day ahead of us.  I really missed that feeling.  It is like an indulgence, a guilty pleasure, a whole day off. 

I spent the day cleaning and doing laundry.  The kids spent the day in an endless cycle of getting along and bickering.  Meals were made, dishes done, clothes put away.  The snow never really came until later in the day.  There wasn't really even enough to send them out to shovel. 

I usually love snow days.  But I want a good, old-fashioned one.  One that results from a real snowstorm.  So you feel cozy in your house with all the heavy snow coming down outside the window.  One that you find out about by checking the news from 5:30 a.m. on, watching the list twice just to be sure.  One that stretches before you like untouched snow: pristine, clean, unmarked.  One that feels like the gift of time.  One that feels like you earned it.  One where you make popcorn and drink hot chocolate after bundling up to go out with the shovel.  One where you don't have a long list of chores facing you when you get up.  One that feels a little bit guilty.

Don't get me wrong, I liked the day off.  I did a lot of laundry.  I didn't have to go to work.  I stayed in my pj's until noon.  But I felt like I missed out on something.  The "gift of time" feeling.  The excitement of a snow day was missing because of the early call off.  Be careful what you wish for.